Why I Often Choose Solitude (Even If I Look Social)

by Myriam :)

People often think I’m outgoing.

I smile, I talk easily with strangers, and I know how to adapt in social situations.

But what many don’t see is what happens after.

Being around people, even the one I love, drains me. All the emotions, good or bad, feel too strong.

It’s like I absorb everything at once. I can’t block it out. And when that happens, my brain and body just… shut down.

That’s why I often need time alone. Not a few hours sometimes several days or even weeks.

It’s not about being antisocial. I grew up in a big family. I know how to live around others.

But that constant presence, the noise, the energy… it’s too much.

At Dirty Roots, I see something similar. Some people walk into the room and feel nothing.

Others stop, stare, and stay for a long time, like something inside them is speaking.

The spheres don’t shout. Don’t try to please everyone. They just are quiet, deep, grounded.

It’s a silent conversation. No need to explain or perform. That’s how I see myself, too.

I’m not made for constant connection or constant attention.

But when the space is right, when the energy is real, I can be fully present.

So no, I don’t always answer messages.

No, I don’t go out every weekend. But when I show up, it’s real.